A Gulf of Difference with No Bridge in Sight

Luang Namtha, Laos - April 2

I've been reading a funny + informative book, passed on by a fellow American traveler after hearing that I'm originally from the central valley of California. It's about the culture clash between Hmong refugees from Laos, who relocated to Merced, and American doctors. MANY interesting tidbits about the beliefs of these shamanist-animist hill tribes and their difficulty assimilating into mainstream American culture. Merced isn't all that different from my home town except that Stockton got more Vietnamese + Cambodian refugees in the 1980's, while Merced got the bulk of the Hmong. I was too young at the time to understand why all these "foreign" kids had inundated my junior high school between my 7th - 8th grade years. All I knew was that they were "different", and different was scary, it was weird. My God, they don't even speak ENGLISH! So what's the typical response when kids/people are faced with something unfamiliar that they don't know how to deal with? They make up stories. Some ARE based on half-truths, and you've probably heard them too -

• They sell their daughters
• They think speed bumps are washboards for scrubbing clothes
• They eat dogs and who knows WHAT else?!

In truth -

• Many cultures DO have a bride price that's like our old tradition of a dowry
• Many cultures DO still wash their clothes by hand and they have NO idea what a speed bump is
• Many cultures DO eat dog, and snake, and insects because there's not an abundance of food. Unlike the U.S. where we kinda like to forget that an animal actually has to get KILLED to eat it, other cultures eat almost 100% of the animal and often THANK the animal for giving it's life beforehand. Also, every culture in the world has it's acceptable edible meats and it's ones that are taboo. In one of the more extreme examples, Americans CHOW DOWN on cows while Indians worship them.

Many other things refugees have done merely out of ignorance - Wearing underwear of the opposite sex, eating cat food, pouring water on an electric stove to extinguish it, washing rice in the toilet, planting crops in public parks, hunting pigeons + squirrels with crossbows... all this leads to a greater confirmation that these people are not only "weird", but they're "savages"! As a twist, here are some savage-like things the Hmong believe about American medical practice -

• Doctors eat the brains, livers and kidneys of their patients?
• When Hmong people die in the U.S. they are cut into pieces, put in tin cans and sold as food

These seem like MUCH greater fears than the former! But why did all these Hmong end up the the States to begin with? The U.S. was anxious to support an anticommunist government in Laos + to cut the military supply line on the Ho Chi Minh Trail to weaken the North Vietnamese, thus starting the "Secret War". More than 30,000 Hmong were recruited + trained by the CIA as guerilla fighters and to aid Air America pilots. These soldiers were paid an average of only $3/ month (in comparison, South Vietnamese soldiers earned between $197-$339/ month) and were only given food rations of rice. Not all these soldiers were actually "recruited" out of desire either, many were forced into combat because bombing had obliged them to abandon their fields, and in many cases their villages had even been obliterated by it. Most Hmong fought in the war until they died. By June of 1974, USAID had discontinued their relief program and the last Air America plane had left, leaving thousands of Hmong to fend for themselves in a devastated country with a government in power they had been fighting against. Thus began their agonizing exodus to Thailand.

The Hmong weren't exactly eager to emigrate to the U.S. either once their refugee status in Thailand ended. After all the scary rumors they'd heard and the belief that their culture would be repressed, most waited until they were in desperation. Once they arrived in the States, many suffered from severe depression once they realized that they would no longer be self-sufficient and instead have to RELY on government assistance. This was different from "The Promise" that they had received from CIA personnel in Laos where they'd been told that the Americans would aid them in reward for risking their lives fighting and then being forced to flee their country because they'd supported the "American War". Being shunned, ridiculed or even assaulted by Americans was also in direct contrast to the hero's welcome they'd expected to receive for aiding us.

Though learning all this HAS made me more sympathetic to our gulf of (mis)communication, there are still a couple issues that I'm having a very hard time making allowances for...

Issue #1

One of my main gripes in Laos has been that the people aren't very friendly, and I've been repeatedly reminded of a blog I wrote awhile back - Things That Never Happen at Home #1 - Intense Eye Contact with Strangers. What never happens at home is what I've been missing in Laos too. In stark contrast to the curiosity + friendliness we've been privvy to for the entirety of our trip since we landed in Asia, Laotians have been closed. Five weeks here and in the end I've just decided to save my breath and only greet with a smile unless someone speaks to me first. SO many downcast eyes in response to a "Saibadee!". SO many times of being looked through like I was invisible. I've had ENOUGH of the silent treatment... Give me some SPICE, like the Indians + Khmers; a SMILE, like the Nepali's or Thai's; some TEASING, like the Vietnamese... What is going on here?! Now I read that the Hmong consider direct eye contact to be invasive. As far as MY experience has been, you can't even HAVE communication without eye contact. This seems to be a cultural divide with no bridge. Other travelers we've met don't have a problem with being kept at a distance, but to me it's a message that "We don't want you here", and FAIR ENOUGH, look at what happened the LAST time we were here.

Issue #2

Several weeks in Laos hadn't won us over yet and we kept hoping we'd warm up to the place. We warmed up all right! As we headed north, the smoke began to make the heat even MORE unbearable. On one particularly grim stretch of road with fires burning on either side and only the blackened stumps of trees remaining, I commented to Darin that this is what Hell must look like! Soon after, we stopped in a small town for lunch and ash literally fell on our plates as we were trying to eat. How's that for grim?! Now I read that the practice of slash + burn agriculture has forever been inextricably intertwined with the nomadic lifestyle of the Hmong. They've been forced to move time and time again, over centuries, as various countries have tried to force them to integrate. This doesn't excuse the fact though that they're living a totally unsustainable and resource depleting lifestyle to provide their basic needs. THEIR belief though is in the faith in the earth's inexhaustible abundance. A Hmong proverb says "There is always another mountain". That's well and good for them and I have serious doubts whether any foreigner could persuade them to utilize better farming methods. The countryside will NEVER grow back though, and much that is burned is never even planted, and in my eyes, making it very ugly to even walk around. In their eyes, they're just trying to LIVE. Again, this seems to be another divide with no bridge. And again, it's another factor in feeling that Laos is just not the place for me.

All that said, it's without a doubt the most chill country I've ever been to, and if that's what you're after, Laos may be just the place for YOU.

Check the "link" for more photos from the remainder of our time in Laos. Also check the "Recommendations" link for our picks of where to go + what to see if you're planning a trip to Asia.